Ugggh….

My eyes hurt and get watery every time I look at the computer screen. I guess that’s their way of protesting against the abuse I subject them to, ie no rest and constant use. The terrible heat and humidity, that september has decided to bless us with, just aggravates the situation.

However, this sucks considering I’m supposed to look at the computer screen the whole time at work. So when I force myself to do that, I get a headache. Hence it is red, watery hurting eyes with a headache. This is how I am at the work place right now.

The fact that my work has started boring me doesn’t help, ofcourse. And that is a whole different story. But typing for too long is hazardous to my eyes, so I will leave this for another time.

My heart bleeds with sadness, filled with a strange unnamed longing, perhaps even desolation. I don’t want to be loved; I just want to love. I want to obliterate the influences of the past and start afresh. I want to venture into the realms of the impossible, leaving what’s possible so far behind that it seems impossible. I want to dream, because I can, but I also want dreams to be more than mere dreams. I want hurtful things to vanish and become as unreal as my dreams seem to be. I want truth to be sweet or at least bittersweet, but not entirely bitter. I want faces to have real smiles that reach straight into their eyes. I want real happiness, not a mere consolation that enables me to barely survive and nothing more. I want intellectual stimulation, the kind that causes fulfillment and not desperation.

Little beanie (my one year old nephew) has not been well for the last three days and his mom, his grand parents, his dad and everyone is very very upset. We went to the doctor yesterday and he was diagnosed as having intestinal infection. He is not active as he usually is, and spends most of the day sleeping. Of course he looks totally adorable when he is sleeping, but he has also lost weight and is looking weaker. He is on anti biotic and hopefully the infection will be cured soon.

The more I see people around me complain about their hair, the more I am thankful for the fact that my hair doesn’t bother me much. It usually behaves itself, doesn’t look unruly and I’ve never felt the need to use anti frizz products. As a note of thanks, I am careful not to use harsh hair styling products and devices on my hair.

I have never gotten it streaked, highlighted, dyed, rebonded, permed or electrocuted (the last one is not a regular hairstyling technique, but it sort of fitted the list). I even avoid blow drying it too much and I can get away with that as I usually don’t leave my hair open.

The fact that straight hair is in fashion helps me a lot in avoiding excessive hairstyling. Gone are the days when women used to sleep with head rollers on (or maybe not??). Come to think of it, even if straight hair was not in fashion that is how I would like to wear mine.

Sometimes I wish my hair was thicker, but on second thoughts it will be difficult to manage too much hair. So I am happy with the way it is, as long as I don’t experience any bad hair days.

Taking a shower can be so relaxing especially when it’s your escape route from the oppressive weather and the so called noise pollution. Sometimes, I get my best (or is it worst??) ideas during a shower.

But today I realized that being in deep thought during a shower can be hazardous at times. First, I almost burnt my hand by closing the cold water and totally forgetting about the hot water tap. And then, I hit my head on the tap while getting up.

OUCH!!

It barely missed my eye!

Thank god, it didn’t leave a bruise!

I’ll try to stop thinking in the shower but I don’t think I can. I guess I’ll just have to be more careful with the tap.

Never thought thinking could hurt, though